Hypothetical Dating Situations
by SaidbhinLuch
Summary: 'I don't have a sister, Jack, and if I did, I wouldn't let you near her.' Oh yes, Jack would have taken that comment well. Just a little one shot centred on Jack's, as per usual, not so typical reaction. S/J leanings and humour abound. Spoilers for 'Holidays' clearly.


**How are they're aren't more stories based on the Jack/Daniel chat in 'Holiday' I honestly don't know... Oh well this is just another amusing one shot! Well I hope it is anyways!**

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Sam pulled on her jacket as she headed down the corridor towards the infirmary, humming slightly as she did so. Janet emerged from her office fastening her own jacket and shaking her head in aggravation. She arched an eyebrow at her friend who just pointed at the main infirmary without a word.

Sam glanced at her friend in confusion as she wandered into the infirmary and looked around curiously.

She was surprisingly, not surprised to see Daniel rolling his own eyes in annoyance at the Colonel who was looking incredibly put out.

'Why am I not good enough for your sister?' The Colonel jumped up and looked Daniel dead in the face, glaring at his friend.

'I don't HAVE a sister!'

'That's not the point!'

'What IS the point Jack?' Daniel at this point looked like he was going to punch the Colonel who, in turn, looked like he was about to explode.

'Why am I not good enough for this hypothetical sister?'

'_Jesus.'_ At Daniel's pained expression as he pushed his glasses up his nose, Sam decided that it was best that she got the hell out of dodge and began to swiftly back out of the room.

Unfortunately, it was Jack O'Neill that was in the room.

'Carter!'

Damn him and his black ops skills.

For the first time Sam was rueing being in the SGC and being placed on SG-1.

Which was unexpected given some of the things she had been through in the past few years...

Only Colonel O'Neill could do that to a person.

Damn him.

'Yes Sir?' She asked looking up at him reluctantly and wincing slightly.

'Would you happy if I dated _your_ sister?'

She had to bite down on her automatic response which was 'OH HECK NO' which was A) _not the reaction that he wanted _and B) _totally inappropriate._

Sam would _not_ be okay with that situation. Thank god she didn't actually have a sister, but at least she was able to prevent herself from blurting that out.

'Sure?' Sam swallowed heavily as she said it, trying to ignore the sweeping panic currently rippling through her.

This was bad.

Very, very bad.

A second in command could not be freaked out but the _hypothetical_ situation in which her commanding officer was dating her _non-existent_ sister.

'Thank you!' He nodded at her seemingly oblivious to Sam's hesitance, before turning back accusingly to his friend.

'See Daniel! I'm actually a good guy! Who's saved your LIFE! _Several times if memory serves!'_

'OKAY! FINE! I would be _delighted _if you dated my fictional sister! You are a wonderful human being! I'm sorry for ever doubting the amazing-ness that is Jack O'-FRICKING-NEILL!'

At this Daniel stomped out of the infirmary, rolling his eyes at Sam and muttering viciously under his breath.

The Colonel was frowning at the glowering scientist before looking at Sam, who blinked widely at him trying to control the panic and slight fear pulsing in her chest.

He sighed shaking his head and folding his arms across his chest looking at her petulantly.

'He still wouldn't like it if I dated his sister. Liar.' Sam looked at him, now instead of panicking was trying not to giggle.

She coughed loudly trying to cover her amusement this however, backfired as he narrowed his eyes at her dangerously.

'So you wouldn't be happy if I dated your sister?' He asked looking almost upset by the thought, why Sam couldn't fathom, but she felt sorry for him so she decided to toss him a bone.

'My fictional sister would be very lucky to date you.' Sam smiled gently at him and received a rare beam in response.

'Though I have one question... Why did it bother you so much?'

'I dunno.' He shrugged at her before the both walked out of the infirmary to see Janet standing with Teal'c and Daniel and looking relieved, and mouthing a quick 'thanks' at Sam.

'I guess I just thought that Daniel thought I was a good man. And hearing that he wouldn't... what was it again... let him anywhere near his sister, wasn't it? Just felt like a kick in the teeth.'

'He does think you're a good man, I think Daniel was just trying to prove who he was by being... well Daniel. You and he have a very... unique friendship. Which, of course, means he'd have to be his usual witty self when talking to you. Hence the sister comment. It was kinda funny and you believed him.'

The Colonel laughed at her explanation and the others looked at the pair in confusion. The Colonel just continued to chuckle and shrugging off the others looks. Sam shrugged, smiling lightly at them and shook her head.

The three men walked out ahead of the two women, Daniel and the Colonel were already squabbling with one another and Teal'c looked like he wanted to conk their heads together.

Sam laughed at the thought and waved Janet's curious look off, and they paused at the elevator. Teal'c paused and stared at her thoughtfully, ignoring the two still arguing with each other. Sam looked up at him, tilting her head curiously and waiting for him to speak.

'Did Daniel Jackson not say once that you are as a sister to him?' Sam felt her jaw drop and eyes bulge slightly and knew that the others had followed suit.

The silence that descended over them was deafening.

Sam was positive that she could hear her father have a heart attack even though he was god knows where in the galaxy.

She figured she'd follow suit.

Once she killed their jaffa friend of course.

What was it about this place that brought out the homicidal tendencies in her?

Oh, don't go there Sam... Don't want to be following Alice into the rabbit hole now do you?

The very definition of an awkward silence was broken by Daniel, with a spectacular coughing fit.

And possibly the Colonel grinding his teeth.

Oh his poor molars.

Teal'c seemed oblivious to the mayhem he'd just created, and given that he the most observant man that Sam had ever met, she couldn't help but find it ever so slightly amusing.

But only _ever so slightly._

She was also slightly perturbed by the random thought that echoed in her head _'why wouldn't Daniel like it if I dated Jack O'Neill?'_.

Again don't get sucked into the black hole, she was forced to remind herself whilst smacking herself mentally.

She glanced around to see Daniel looking at Teal'c in puzzlement slash horror, Janet trying to suppress laughter and judging by her shaking, she was failing miserably and the Colonel...

Well he was doing a sublime impression of a fish.

That was a first.

Sam had never seen her usually ever so composed Commanding Officer so completely at a loss for words.

They entered the lift and avoided looking at one another well Teal'c seemed to be totally relaxed about the situation.

Another silence ensued, this one far more awkward, if that was even possible, then the last.

However that couldn't last long as Sam noticed, out of the corner of her eye, the Colonel was thinking deeply, his brow furrowed. She winced in anticipation of what was about to happen, of what this man was about to say.

'I still don't get why you have such a problem with the hypothetical situation... I mean you said you met an engaged version of us right?'

At this Daniel began spluttering and Janet let loose with the laughter she'd been trying to squash.

Sam, on the other hand, was planning on strangling the lot of them.

This place was not good for her mental well being.

Who knew that a hypothetical dating situation could cause such a rukus?

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**Oh I was rewatching this episode and I KNEW there had to be a backlash from Daniel's jab at Jack... Annnnnnnyways... I hope you enjoy and please, please, PRETTY please review!**

**Hope you find the funny in this!  
**


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